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Tuesday, March 11, 2014

it felt like the right time to finally post...

this post has been sitting in drafts for a while, do i really want to revisit this me? Yes. 

About three years ago I was talked into trying out the P90x system, you all know the one I am talking about. The one where you literally bust your tush for 90 days, work it hard, consistently, and you lose weight. Of course you do, have any of you ever seen the workouts? It is intense to say the least. Nevertheless, we made through two out of the three months, no problem, we tightened up, shed some pounds, and were feeling pretty good. Then came a busy day, which turned into a busy week, followed by a busy month and P90x got pushed to the wayside, and if we are being honest, I never looked back. P90x was my intro to yoga.
I have always struggled to find "my exercise", the one that I actually enjoyed doing, the one that I felt better about myself afterwards, and had a sense of accomplishment while going through the motions. I was an active child, but continuously struggled with weight issues throughout high school. I was usually upset that I wasn't the skinniest, just usually on the pudgy side. I went through crazy up and downs in high-school concerning my weight, put too much pressure on myself to be skinny and treated my body poorly in general. I played sports a little, rode horses a lot, and led an active life, walking with mama early every morning before school, but there was nothing consistent about my weight. It jumped up and down weekly, making me feel good about myself one day, and really down about it the others. College came and of course I gained weight, I was working out regularly and actually pretty hard, but my eating habits were awful. I gained the freshman fifteen and then some. I worried about it, but the beer, bad food, and late nights took a toll on me and my health. 

After college I moved home, and started my struggle with losing weight again. I was stressed about pretty much everything, from an on again off again boyfriend, to not finding a career right out of college, the weight just started to fall off of me. It probably helped that I worked three part time jobs continuously and didn't have one second to think about eating normally. After a year and a half of searching, I found my current job, moved to my current location, and just shortly after that I joined a gym here in town. I liked going to the classes, but I would have weeks were I just didn't go, or made up some excuse to why I couldn't. 

after college

Fast forward a couple of years to March of this year, my first yoga class with Allie. I was enthralled from the beginning, wanting to perfect each and every pose in the sun-salutation series, pushing myself in each pose to make the most of that single moment, wanting the most from my exercise. It is my time to reflect on the day without being worried about the day, I can push it all out of my head if I want, or I can think on it quietly, having the time to make my own decisions and viewpoints without the constant chatter going on behind me. I now want to be healthy and fit, although there is still that voice in the back of my head that wants me to be skinny. I have come to understand my body more, understand that I am strong, understand that I can do much more than I ever imagined. My eating habits have improved drastically. I try to stay away from fast food, although at the moment I am seriously craving some Zaxby's , eat lots of veggies, fruits, and whole grains. I love cooking, especially if there are others to cook for, but understand that I need to cook when it is just me too. I feel better, I definitely look better, and I plan on living this wonderful life of mine as long as possible.

My current part-time vegan diet may be a lot tougher, but I have already lost a few lbs and I am feeling even better about getting into a bathing suit this summer. I don't miss certain foods like I thought I would and I never feel hungry. I think the biggest part of my weight loss journey hasn't been portion control, it has been eating the right things. I feel the best ever right now, and I know it is because I am fueling my body with the right things to eat. Yes, those decisions are hard, because I really want that bowl of cheese dip, but I know it won't make me feel great about my belly in the morning. How about the guacamole instead? But let it be known, I don't deprive myself either, my motto is moderation. Always moderation.

Thanks for being in this space with me today. Blessed to share this with you all! 
Happy Tuesday!

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