it felt like the right time to finally post...

this post has been sitting in drafts for a while, do i really want to revisit this me? Yes. 
About three years ago I was talked into trying out the P90x system, you all know the one I am talking about. The one where you literally bust your tush for 90 days, work it hard, consistently, and you lose weight. Of course you do, have any of you ever seen the workouts? It is intense to say the least. Nevertheless, we made through two out of the three months, no problem, we tightened up, shed some pounds, and were feeling pretty good. Then came a busy day, which turned into a busy week, followed by a busy month and P90x got pushed to the wayside, and if we are being honest, I never looked back. P90x was my intro to yoga.   I have always struggled to find "my exercise", the one that I actually enjoyed doing, the one that I felt better about myself afterwards, and had a sense of accomplishment while going through the motions. I was an active child, but continuously struggled with weight issues throughout high school. I was usually upset that I wasn't the skinniest, just usually on the pudgy side. I went through crazy up and downs in high-school concerning my weight, put too much pressure on myself to be skinny and treated my body poorly in general. I played sports a little, rode horses a lot, and led an active life, walking with mama early every morning before school, but there was nothing consistent about my weight. It jumped up and down weekly, making me feel good about myself one day, and really down about it the others. College came and of course I gained weight, I was working out regularly and actually pretty hard, but my eating habits were awful. I gained the freshman fifteen and then some. I worried about it, but the beer, bad food, and late nights took a toll on me and my health. 

college 

After college I moved home, and started my struggle with losing weight again. I was stressed about pretty much everything, from an on again off again boyfriend, to not finding a career right out of college, the weight just started to fall off of me. It probably helped that I worked three part time jobs continuously and didn't have one second to think about eating normally. After a year and a half of searching, I found my current job, moved to my current location, and just shortly after that I joined a gym here in town. I liked going to the classes, but I would have weeks were I just didn't go, or made up some excuse to why I couldn't. 

after college

Fast forward a couple of years to March of this year, my first yoga class with Allie. I was enthralled from the beginning, wanting to perfect each and every pose in the sun-salutation series, pushing myself in each pose to make the most of that single moment, wanting the most from my exercise. It is my time to reflect on the day without being worried about the day, I can push it all out of my head if I want, or I can think on it quietly, having the time to make my own decisions and viewpoints without the constant chatter going on behind me. I now want to be healthy and fit, although there is still that voice in the back of my head that wants me to be skinny. I have come to understand my body more, understand that I am strong, understand that I can do much more than I ever imagined. My eating habits have improved drastically. I try to stay away from fast food, although at the moment I am seriously craving some Zaxby's , eat lots of veggies, fruits, and whole grains. I love cooking, especially if there are others to cook for, but understand that I need to cook when it is just me too. I feel better, I definitely look better, and I plan on living this wonderful life of mine as long as possible.

My current part-time vegan diet may be a lot tougher, but I have already lost a few lbs and I am feeling even better about getting into a bathing suit this summer. I don't miss certain foods like I thought I would and I never feel hungry. I think the biggest part of my weight loss journey hasn't been portion control, it has been eating the right things. I feel the best ever right now, and I know it is because I am fueling my body with the right things to eat. Yes, those decisions are hard, because I really want that bowl of cheese dip, but I know it won't make me feel great about my belly in the morning. How about the guacamole instead? But let it be known, I don't deprive myself either, my motto is moderation. Always moderation.

Thanks for being in this space with me today. Blessed to share this with you all! 

Happy Tuesday!

An Update.

Hi all! Just your newly turned, vegan eating, yoga machine here, excited to tell you about where I am in my practice and get you caught up on how my recent movie night went.

Not so well folks. Not so well.

But first, eating. Well it is getting better, I am finding more and more things that I both like and can eat. I struggled at first with getting enough protein in my diet, but feel I have that a little more down pat these days. My headaches have finally subsided and my skin is clearing up. I think my body has somewhat adjusted to the changes that took place.

Now on to the fun part. Kidding.

( I am going to say here that I am a just a person. A person that has personal views, one that grew up in, went to school for, and now works in the agriculture industry. I don't expect anyone to agree with my personal views, but I do expect you to respect that I have them.)

Last night I had the pleasure of watching the video "Earthlings". It is a film narrated by Joaquin Phoenix and you can read more about the film here. This film claims to be the "vegan maker" so going into it, I was of course hesitant and in all honesty a bit scared. I had heard before of films like this, backed by vegans that were spreading the word about animal cruelty among other things. This film turned out to be exactly what I thought it to be. 

It was graphic, from dying animals, to slaughter houses, abuse, puppy mills, etc. it was all there. They showed the killing of whales, the processes of slaughter of cows, chickens, and pigs, among other animals. They showed rodeo animals that got hurt, they showed horse races where horses were knocked down and trampled over, they showed elephants being beaten by their circus owners. There was blood and guts, sad faces, dirty fish, puppies in gas chambers, all of it. It was everything I expected it to be. 

I want to stop here and say, I do not think that animals should be mistreated. I do not think that animals should have to undergo painful deaths. However, I also do not look at animals as our equals. I look at them as creatures that God put on this Earth for us to care for, to look after, to use, to eat. That is where the biggest difference in myself and the creators of this movie lies. 

Now I want to tell you what they didn't show, and some things they showed that I have rarely heard of happening. I have never heard of dairy farmers chaining their cows all day. From my experience, these cows are brought in twice a day, they are fed, milked, and taken care of if ill during that time. They are grazed for the largest part of the day. I have never heard of chickens being de-beaked. From the people I have talked to, whose families are in the chicken business, that just doesn't make sense. How would they pick up their food? (Also if you look closer throughout the movie, you can tell that these chickens do have their beaks.) They fail to mention all the research done by people like Temple Grandin and others who devoted their lives the figuring out the most humane ways to handle and slaughter animals. They didn't show the love that goes into taking care of a horse. The time and care given to the rodeo animals, the people behind these actions. I understand that cruelty to any living thing is wrong, but you can't just group together the bad findings of certain people and make it seem like the norm.  Yes, things like what were shown have happened and I am sure that they still do, however, it is not always the case. And more often than not most of the people handling these animals do so with the utmost care. Those animals are the way they make their living, the way they feed their families and keep clothes on their backs. There is so much more that I could say on this topic, but I am going to stop here.

Growing up, going to school for, and now working in the animal industry I have learned and witnessed many things. I have decided to believe what I see with my own eyes. To trust my own instinct and to stay as true to myself as possible during this phase of my life.

I am feeling much more confident about this experience after getting through my first two videos. I feel confident in who I am as a person, what I believe in, and the experience that lies before me. I can do it. I can make it through.

Do something today that scares you. Do one thing that makes you think.

Happy for No Reason

Good morning world! 
After a rough start to the week, filled with a headache and lots of super cold weather, the past few stays have been great ones. Class last night was wonderful, and although I am still working on being "still" in the moment (both mind and body) I am getting more into the routine of the drive and the classes.

Did I mention earlier on that I was required to watch movies and read books to complete this course. The books and movies listed below are supposed to stir some sort of feelings up for each one of us. This particular studio focuses on non-violence and living a peaceful life, where some may be more connected to the act of doing yoga, others on the more spiritual side. I am still unaware of how most of these books and/or movies will affect me, but I am going to do my best to understand that the media can portray most anything in the way that they want to, and I must stick to my guns when it comes to knowing what these types of things mean to me.
Books: The Razor's Edge, Somerset Maugham
True Meditation, Adyashanti
Bhagavad Gita
The China Study, T. Colin Campbell
Happy Yoga, Steve Ross
Yoga Body, Mark Singleton
Healthy at 100, John Robbins
Eating Animals, Jonathan Safran Foer
Slaughterhouse. Gail Eisnitz
Happy for No Reason. Marci Shimoff
Eat to Live. Joel Fuhrman, M.D.
The Longest Struggle, Norm Phelps
Movies: A Crude Awakening* Short Road to Nirvana*
No Impact Man*
Food, Inc**
Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead 
Earthlings***
Forks Over Knives**
Home***
Crazy, Sexy Cancer
Ashtanga, NY
The Matrix**
The People Speak
I am currently reading "Happy for No Reason" and listening to "The Razor's Edge" on CD while in my car. "Happy for No Reason" has been informative so far, as it reads as more of a self-help book. It will get into stories later on, and I feel that will be more what I will enjoy. "The Razor's Edge" is quite compelling, making me think deeply about the reason's that we all do the things we do. I also have found similarities between characters in the book, with those in my real life, so it is helping to understand their thoughts and actions as well. 
I am still in a place of not knowing where this process will take me. Will I one day teach yoga? Will I offer help to those who need it, for the sole reason that I know it can make a difference? All of these thoughts are ones that cross my mind. I want others to understand that I am not a looney, that yes. it may seem difficult to make certain changes in your life. Yes, some others may not get it, but when you feel a push to do something, you should just go for it. Try it out. I didn't really feel like I had anything to lose when I just jumped right in. I am thankful for those that support me and doubt me, you are both pushing me further than you think.
I am so blessed to be able to share a few words with you before work this morning. It is raining out, and getting out of my warm bed is not going to be easy. Stay safe today. Smile. Tell a stranger hello. Make life different. Start now.